Fear of writing

I always loved writing. I think it was the only thing I liked. I remember every time I had a language test, the very first thing I did when the teacher gave me the exam was to look at the title of the essay, article or whatever I had on task to write so I could think of ideas in order to put them on my paper… I used to enjoy writing…
The last years at the Lola Mora have been more or less the same but this year was the exception. I do not know why is that I feel this way but I feel like everything I write is wrong; especially with the essays.
My English Language teacher told me I should be more organized before writing something and I did try but I keep on doing the same mistake. In fact, there are times that while I’m writing something I notice the failures but as I don’t know how to correct them I let the things how they are. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to write something better.
Now that the English Language exam is coming I’m worried because I still have doubts about my skills to write a good essay. All I know is that I hope to overcome this fear before that day because if not, I know I’ll feel quite disappointed of myself.

Opportunities

I always remember an excellent teacher at High school who used to say that in the process of teaching and learning, the teacher needed to be open and ready to give opportunities to their students otherwise, it will be hard for them to get the respect from the students.
During these last two years I had the opportunity to start training to become a teacher in the near future. I had students at eighth and ninth year and next year I will be teaching training in the Polimodal level. I also was working in a Catholic school as a pasante, helping a little girl who has difficulties at learning as she suffers from deficit of attention among others problems. The thing is that I was working together with the teacher of that class who was Miss Josefina, and who helped me a lot. It gave me the opportunity to practice with her class giving me suggestions and tips for the next classes I was going to give. I felt nervous but confident at the same time.
The little girl I was working with is beautiful. Her name is Paulina and the first time we met, she asked me why I was going to be only with her and not with the rest of the girls, and I said “I chose working with you because you seem to be special”, and she smiled at me.
At the beginning it was very hard to catch her attention as she did not know whom to follow, her teacher or me. The thing is that with the passing of time she started to improve in English. Having many difficulties in producing pieces of writing in her mother tongue, her psychologist suggested me to encourage the child to work with the basic contents in the second language and she seemed to enjoy doing the exercises I prepared for her.
Now that exams are over, this little child could overcome different situations, for instance, she can now produce sentences in English and she managed to pass the oral exams (which was a huge burden for her at the beginning). Through games and draws, she learnt colours, numbers and other lexical items that where necessary for her to learn to pass the subject. However, I have to say that the most important for me was that she has learnt something from me. To be honest, there were times in which I wished to run away as I didn’t know how to help her. I knew she needed me, but I didn’t know what to do. I felt weak and unable to deal with those difficulties, but Miss Josefina and some friends of mine (who are future teachers too) made me realize I could do something for this kid and thank God the results were excellent.
When I started this entry, I remembered what my favourite teacher used to say and I think he’s right. Opportunities should be given for everyone. It’s a good way to show that you as teacher or you as student can do something to learn. In my case, I am extremely pleased to have had a teacher like Miss Josefina to help me during the last three months and in the case Paulina, the last time I saw her, she shown thankful for having the opportunity to learn something it was very difficult for her at the beginning.

Graduation Party

Last week I had the pleasure to be in the graduation party of my classmates from fourth year and I have to say that I enjoyed it a lot. Perhaps I didn’t realize until that moment that I’m going to miss them a lot. I’m gonna miss the interesting points of view from Chessica, the complaints and the craziness about music from Mauricio, the tenderness that Silvita has to talk to me, the jokes from Rachel, the “ready to everything” Pato and my dear friend Barbarita, who has always been a very special friend to me. I’m really gonna miss them all, though I’m pretty sure I’ll keep on touch with some of them.
That night I realized that we(my girl friends and I), are not gonna have a group like that next year, which is supposed to be our last year and that made me feel a little bit of melancholy. I mean, I spent four years with this group. In this four years it happened a lot of things, lots of argues, laughs, triumphs (as I never thought I was going to be on stage as I was when we presented “Halloween”). We really did have a lot of fun…
Anyway, besides all these thoughts and memories that are coming to my mind right now, I want to tell you guys, and perhaps I’ve already told you this before, but I’ll say it again; I wish you the best for each one of you, be great teachers, give opportunities and believe in what you and your students do.

Big Brother Horror Show

Title: Big Brother Horror Show
Date: November 1st, 2007
Source: http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/index.php?storyID=9400

Vocabulary
Conglomerate: a corporation consisting of a number of subsidiary companies or divisions in a variety of unrelated industries, usually as a result of merger or acquisition.
Undiluted: not weak.
Air: to broadcast or televise.
Drinking bout: a long period of drinking.
Copious: large in quantity or number; abundant; plentiful.
Adamant: utterly unyielding in attitude or opinion in spite of all appeals, urgings, etc./ determined or insistent.
Comatose: affected with or characterized by coma.
Chump: a stupid or foolish person; a dolt.
Footage: a shot or series of shots of a specified nature or subject.

Main Ideas
- African viewers saw a woman being assaulted by one of her housemates on Big Brother TV show.
- Viewers claimed to be concerned about this fact but TV producers say that there is no indication that she was unconcious at that time and that it appeared to exist consensual physical relationship between the housemates.
- The woman was extremely drunk after an extended drinking bout on Saturday afternoon.
- The contest is due to reach its climax on November 11 and the man who is being blamed for assault his housemate is one of the finalists.
- It is estimated that in Africa, a woman is sexually assaulted every 40 seconds.

Personal reaction

I have always thought this kind of reality show was only able to reflect the human beings´miseries but I never thought they would be able to permit (and transmit)the rape of a person even more knowing that Africa is a country in which women are being sexually assaulted with more frequency. TV producers will never admit this incident could have been avoided but apparently money is more important than a woman’s dignity. It would be great this sort of TV show be finally banned so this world is less sick.

For fourth year... there it goes...

Classes are coming to an end and coming soon my classmates of fourth year are about to graduate. Some of them will do it in December, some others in March and so on…
The point is that they are to graduate. You’re becoming teachers guys! And that’s great. I’m gonna miss you all…
When I started studying in the Lola Mora in 2004 I met great people. They were all special in certain way. I shared wonderful moments with many of them. I met interesting people there whom I really felt connected with.
Of course, conflicts were present many times…relationships are complicated, you know?...anyway, the thing is that many of us overcame it and some others are still trying…
I’m gonna miss the laughs, the jokes, the fights, the complains and some other things we’ve shared. But it’s going to be something good for you…new roads to discover. You’re finally reaching your dreams and that is good…yeah, of course it will be good. The only thing I can say (as I’m not good for the compliments or those things related to feelings), it’s that I wish the best for all of you and I hope you be wonderful teachers, teaching your students something more than a second language… teaching them to be humble and good people and to follow and fight for their dreams.

Radiohead Creep Acoustic Flash

Great music for your ears...

Dellirium

There are people who think they are no one, but they don’t realize they are someone. You are someone if someone thinks about you. Maybe if you’re not sure about it, it does exist a person who thinks about you, who cares about you no matter what. Without knowing it, you may be part of their concerns and somehow you’re being part of their lives. You need to start to learn that it’s not that you’re not important but you don’t give yourself the importance that you deserve. It’s just a matter of making a balance between who you are and who you wanna be.

Frustration

Tonight I feel disillusioned with myself. I feel like I’m mad with myself. I’m angry. I feel weak. I was supposed to pass that exam (that was my purpose of taking the subject again). Not to fail. I don’t know what happens with me or what is wrong with me. I don’t know if I don’t pay enough attention, don’t follow the instructions and do what I want or what. I feel like I’m not making any improvement at all. I don’t know if I’m so mediocre that I keep myself with the things I learnt and I don’t wanna learn more or I’m so blocked with the latest events that have happened in my life that I’m being quite negative and that negation doesn’t allow me to see the progress. I just don’t know… the only thing that I know is that the constant feeling of being in the same place without move hasn’t gone yet, but don’t get me wrong with this. I know that there are worst things in life. I’m a realistic person and I know there are more important things in life. I know people who are fighting every day for their lives. I’m not going to make such a tragedy of this. My life is not so shallow or so meaningless to make of this a big deal. It’s just that I haven’t slept well these last days and pessimism reign in my world for the moment.

Kurt

"The intensity, the aggression, the hatred. You could just hear a lead singer scream at the top of his lungs. I felt that way. I wanted to smash things." -Kurt Cobain

I remember the first time I heard Kurt Cobain singing. It was for the MTV Video Music Awards in 1992 and I was 9 years old. Despite of my early age I was caught by his voice… there was something about it. It was as if he was being hurted, you could feel his pain, and I think it’s not necessary to say that from that moment I become a Nirvana’s fan.
Kurt Cobain was born on 20th February, 1967 in Aberdeen, Washington. He was a hyperactive child but he lived happily with his family. At the age of seven his parents got divorce, which caused a huge impact on his life becoming anti-social and isolated. He lived for a while with his father and then he moved with his mother. He didn’t finish secondary school because two weeks before his graduation he realized he did not have enough good marks to get his degree. His mother kicked him from her house and he stayed at some friends`houses and he also lived under a bridge over a river.
Still being a child, he bought his first guitar and started to experiment different music styles. His musical success began with Nirvana, being Kurt the leader and guitarist of the band, Krist Novaselic on bass and Dave Grohl as the drummer.
In 1989 they released their first album called Bleach though they found their greatest success when they produced and released their following album Nevermind. They performed in several countries and had thousands of fans around the world. However, Kurt found the success of the band a little intimidating and liked the intimate setting of small night clubs.
Almost all his life he suffered from intense physical pain due to an undiagnosed chronic stomach condition and also dealing with depression. As a consequence, he started to use different kinds of drugs in order to end up with these pains, becoming in an addict. Because of his morphine and heroin addictions, he went into rehab several times, but left without completing the program. Throughout the early 90`s, he married Courtney Love and had a daughter.
In 1994, the band was on MTV`s Unplugged, making this album a great success. One week after a concert in Munich Kurt fell in a comma. He woke up and left the hospital voluntarily, but was reported missing. He fled back to Seattle without making his movements known to any members of his family. On April 8th, his body was found by an electrician who was to install a burglar alarm in Kurt’s residence. He had committed suicide.
After his decease, several theories have come out about his suicide. One of those theories is that some people blame his wife for driving him into his suicide; some others think Kurt was murdered but there are not proofs of that; and there are people who have accepted that he committed suicide.
All in all, Kurt is not here with us anymore, but he still inspires most of us with his wonderful music. He was a great artist and he’ll always be. We still have his music, his songs and nobody will take that away from us…

Title: Argentina’s New Evita?
Date: July 2nd, 2007
Source: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1639509,00.html

Vocabulary
Startling: creating sudden alarm, surprise, or wonder; astonishing.
Firebrand: a person who kindles strife or encourages unrest; an agitator; troublemaker.
Incumbent: One who holds a public office. By virtue of their experience in office, their exposure to the public, and their ability to raise campaign funds, incumbents usually have a significant advantage over opponents if they choose to run for reelection.
Nicety: delicacy of character, as of something requiring care or tact.
Usher: lead, introduce, or conduct.
Antagonize: to make hostile or unfriendly; make an enemy/ to act in opposition to; oppose.
Veer: to change direction or turn about or aside; shift, turn, or change from one course, position, inclination, etc., to another.
Alignment: a state of agreement or cooperation among persons, groups, nations, etc., with a common cause or viewpoint.
Recruit: to renew or restore.
Key: to regulate or adjust (actions, thoughts, speech, etc.) to a particular state or activity; bring into conformity.
Wary: On guard; watchful; cautious.

Main Ideas
- The current Argentine’s first lady Cristina Kirchner will run for the presidency in the upcoming October elections.
- Mrs Kirchner has a reputation as an implacable anti-corruption fighter and is seen as a more temperamental and radical politician than her husband.
- Her husband, President Kirchner, rescued Argentina from the agonizing economic crisis.
- Mrs Kirchner is expected to pursue more radical policies.
- President Kirchner and the First Lady actually lead in the most recent polls and the same polls show that in any case, either Kirchner would easily defeat the leading opposition candidates.
- It is said that Cristina has better chance of recruiting political support from outside traditional Peronists voters.
- A political analyst says that President Kirchner has ambitions of a long-life term in office.
- If Mrs Kirchner`s candidancy is successful, Mr Kirchner will be allow to run for elections in 2011.
- It is said that the Kirchners`plan is to succeed each other in office on a long-term basis.

Personal Reaction
I chose this article because this situation was rather similar to what happened during Peron’s presidency. Let’s not forget that Evita was considered Peron’s equal and if not for her early death, may have become his successor. Actually, we can see the Kirchners is a very strong couple with aspirations of improving our country and this is important for the development of our nation. Cristina Kirchner seems to be a charismatic and very clever and ambitious woman. If she succeeds in the coming election, she will have to do a huge effort in order to go on improving the country and to not disappoint the Argentines.

Spring

Spring in Tucuman is rather special I’d say. Things look different at that moment of the year. Everything seems to be more beautiful and you feel able to perceive a nice atmosphere in every place you are. You can feel it on the air; the scent of flowers is present and that makes you feel better…
On September 21st, we tend to celebrate the coming of spring and the Students`day. Thousands of students go out in order to celebrate their day.
Colours, smells, and different sensations are perceived at this time of the year, but there is something about this month and particularly with this season. It is said that it is the season of love and this is the time when love starts to appear (or reappear) among couples. And it seems to be true. The last few days I could notice that there are many people in love or new couples that are starting a new relationship and it’s nice to see all those feeling that appear at this time reflected on their eyes.

Anger

Why did you come back?... you were supposed to be part of the past… you don’t have anything to do here… I don’t need you here… you don’t belong to us anymore… I hate you and I don’t want to know anything else… I’m tired of you… I’m sick of you…Leave me alone… just leave us alone… We deserve some peace… We deserve to be happy… We shouldn’t be like that… we aren’t supposed to feel like that…I can’t live like that…It has been enough…I can’t stand it anymore…Stop please

Entries

“Why writing entries?” that was the first question that came to my mind when our English Language teacher told us we had to do. We were supposed to create a blog in which we had to publish pieces of writings and we were allowed to choose the topics. “It’s a waste of time”, I thought then. “How can you write for 30 minutes about different issues?, that’s not possible”. And then dozens of negative thoughts came to my mind about our given task.
Then, when I wrote my first entries which were about hidden thoughts, feelings or events that were part of my life and I considered them important, I felt relief. It was like a therapy as I’m a quite reserved person unable to speak about my feelings, and this way of writing helped me a lot.
Of course there were times in which I felt blocked and I didn’t know what to write about and as I am not a very creative person, I tended to write about events that happened to other people I know.
Now that the deadline is today and I’m supposed to have ready my 39 entries (and the articles), I decided to write about the effects of writing on me. It may cause me a bit of frustration, as I don’t have enough time to dedicate them; but they also make me feel relief, though I would have never imagined to be writing about me or my thoughts on a blog.

He and She (first part)

He loved flirting with women (he loved doing that). He was a very handsome man who took advantage of his good-looking appearance to get women whenever he wanted and just with a finger click he got what he wanted. He was always surrounded by his friends, parties and women.
She was totally different. She was quite reserved and shy. Apathy reigned in her world, feeling uninterested about everything. She was not pretty at all but she got something that made her interesting, her personality.
No one could have ever imagined that these both different people would meet. But they did in fact.
They both were in the same bar a Saturday night having dinner and preparing for going to dance each one with their group. They were closely sitting and he with his friends were talking and laughing too loudly while she and her friends were quietly having their meals. She was quite annoyed because of those loud laughs. She felt that they were doing too much noise to be there and she let them know by looking at them in a serious way, and the first one of the male group to notice that was him. He thought it was funny to see her angry, but he was conscious that they were being quite noisy so he made his friends speak lower.
He couldn’t take out his eyes from her. He looked at her expressions, the way she talked, her face, her eyes… meanwhile she was lively talking to her friends. She was telling an anecdote to the other girls and every time she did this, she did it in a special way. So while she was telling her story, she noticed he was looking at her and immediately she felt inhibited for that and stopped talking.

He and She (second part)

Then both groups paid their bills and went to dance. For his fortune, she was at the same disco as him. He wanted to talk to her but he was nervous. It was the first time that a woman made him feel nervous. He never felt like that. His eyes were fixed on her and his hands were sweating. “Why am I feeling in this way?”, he wondered.
After a couple of minutes, she and one of her friends went to buy a drink and he came close to her. His heart beat faster, but he couldn’t miss that chance. It was now or never, so he walked toward her and took her hand, she turned around and looked at him. The world stopped. The music stopped. They eyes were fixed each other and everybody seemed to have disappeared. In fact, it was as if they were in other place. None of them said a word. This moment seemed as it was going to last for hours… till her friend came back to interrupt that moment. When she realized of everything that happened and noticed this event was real (and none of those that she always dreamed about), she got afraid. She was not able to begin a relationship with anybody. Those inner fears of having a relation came to her mind and she dropped his hand and ran away. He followed her, but she managed to escape. He felt desperate of thinking about that he could lose her for ever. No, that could not be possible.
His heart ached when he thought about that possibility. He looked for her in everywhere but she had already disappeared. He felt anguished.
He found his friends and told them about that girl and they suggested him not to go on looking for, but he knew deep in his heart that they had a connection. He knew she was the love of his life and he wouldn’t be able to be with other woman. He won’t give up. So every weekend he goes to the same disco to wait for her but till now she hasn’t appeared. However, he swore himself he’s gonna wait until she decide to come back…

Coming Elections

Yesterday, I read on a local newspaper about an interview to a group of young people who are going to vote for the first time for the coming elections on August 26th.
These people said that they still haven’t chosen the candidate as they are aware of the fact that none of the candidates are really good enough. Unfortunately, they are not the only ones who think in that way.
Corruption, censorship, crimes without being punished and lack of commitment are words that come to my mind when I think about the candidates. It’s hard to know who could be the right one, but is there a right one?. I don’t think so.
The current governor has done so many things to not count with my vote (and I think many people will agree with me). He was so corrupt and dictator with his actions that I’m not even going to consider him when I be in “the dark room”. And if I think of the rest of them I also feel insecure. Of course that there might be honest people with their own ideals of changing the problems in our province, but how do we do to find them, to realize who they are?.

The hidden lady (first part)

It was a cold winter’s night and as usual, my friends arrived home. When it was too cold for being walking around our neighbourhood we used to stay at home talking, listening to music or playing cards, but that night was perfect to go out. Never had I imagined that my friends and I would be involved in such a situation.
As the night to be ready to be enjoyed, I convinced my friends of going out for a walk, even knowing it was too cold and dark outside, I asked them to go to the surroundings of the Lawn Tennis Club as it was covered with trees and I loved walking over there.
As we were arriving to that place, some of my friends walked slowly because it was a bit dark but my friend Cecilia and I were walking at the front, so imagined our fear when we noticed there was a person dressed in white hidden behind one of those trees. The first thought that came to my mind was that he or she could be playing with somebody else and that was why that person was hidden, but there wasn’t anyone else in the street but us.
As I was quite curious and I was not afraid of anything, I told my friend to keep on walking so we could see nearer who that person was. When we were at about ten metres from that person, she (because it was a woman) looked at us and she ran till the next tree and she was carrying something on her arms. When she ran, we also ran but for the other side.

The hidden lady (second part)

We were scared because she was wearing a long white dressing-gown and she had long hair covering part of her face. She seemed to be a ghost for her appearance.
We ran toward where a police officer was and we told him the story, but he didn’t believe us. He told us that it was possible that that woman was a ghost and he laughed, but as we insisted, he went there with another official to check everything was alright and to prove us that we were wrong. A couple of minutes later, we heard screams and we saw that two other men ran toward that place. Meanwhile, we were waiting at one of my friend’s house when the police officer came(after an hour or so) and he told us that the woman we saw behind the tree had escaped from the hospital as she had just given birth a baby and she had taken the baby with her to kill him behind those trees. The woman was quite depressed and she suffered from mental problems.
We were shocked by the news. We never imagined that something like that could happen. Once the police man left, the woman was taken to a mental hospital and the baby boy was given to his father who was divorced of the woman and did not anything about what was happening.
I don’t know what has happened to them since that day, but I only remember that we were afraid of that situation but at the same time we felt proud of having saved the life of that baby.

The Sunshine

The sunshine hurts my eyes and it’s hard to keep in them wide open. I’ve been staying for two days in my bed and I’ve just came out of it. It’s beautiful to keep in bed with your eyes shut imagining I have another life as if I were another person… If I had other feelings… sometimes it’s difficult for me to deal with some many sensations. My mood changes constantly. Now I’m sad, then I’m worried, relax, enthusiastic… I don’t know how to do it. So many feelings…
Now I feel overwhelmed… so many voices, laughs… and I just wanna close my eyes and hear the silence. I wanna be alone…
I cover my eyes with my hands, but the sun is shiner than it was before and still hurting my eyes. The pain doesn’t go… will it go someday?

On the move

Yesterday I was going to the institute by bus and while I was traveling I had a lot of thoughts that came to my mind. There were a lot of people and I said to myself how interested it would be to know what they were thinking in that moment. I watched them, and in certain cases, I felt I knew what those people thought about because they seemed to be transparent. They seemed to be lost in their world of pains and sufferings and some others seemed to be happy. I could see it in their faces, in their expressions. Some of them were impatient, constantly looking at their watches and some seemed to be resigned about something, with their eyes full of melancholy lost in a place that they only know. From time to time I could notice people in love who are the easiest to identify; pinky cheeks and bright smile, laughing most of the time. It’s funny because you see that on their faces, their eyes are so bright that it’s easy to recognize them.
Many times I wonder if other people notice that, or they just don’t pay attention to that. The thing is that every time I get into the bus, I tend to perceive those attitudes.

Entertainment

Fortunately, I can say I don’t have too much time to be bored. Well, these last months I’ve been writing, reading and almost dreaming in English!, but apart from studying, I have a life and I try to enjoy it.
One of the things I love doing is playing with my pets (I have two dogs and one cat). You have no idea how much I love them, they are incredible funny and I enjoy playing with them and taking care of them. I think if I had my own house I would have more pets.
When I have plenty of time I enjoy reading and watching movies, and also surfing in the net as I have a couple of friends who I meet in the chat from time to time…
Some other way of having a great time is meeting my friends and drinking mate and chatting about everything. I love my girls and I enjoy spending time with them... they give me what I can’t find in somewhere else. Some times we go out together at night to have dinner or we go to have breakfast and we always have fun. We laugh about everything and it’s always a pleasure sharing moments with them.
I also enjoy going to rock concerts. I love everything is connected with the “under culture”, but there are not many rock concerts for now, so the only thing I can do for the time being is to stay at home listening to music (just God knows how much I love doing that). I think music is one of the things I most appreciate in life. There are times in which I’m not willing to listen to anything else but music. Music accompanies me in everything I do, and if I don’t want to listen to anybody, I just turn on my mp3 and that’s all.

Noises

I consider myself a sort of strange person. I am a little bit distant, reserved and shy. I know that sometimes I tend to be absent minded and I don’t pay attention to anything that surrounds me, but there are times in which I observe every detail and I don’t want to miss a thing.
These last days I’ve been feeling quite overwhelmed for everything. I feel like I can’t stand any sound or anybody, and it’s hard to explain but that makes me feel strange. I have those moments in which I’d like to be alone in my room and not talk to anybody.
From the very first moment I’m awake till I go to sleep, I feel everybody is talking too loud. It’s strange you know?. I have no problems when I’m alone and I listen to music. I can listen to my favourite songs and that doesn’t deafen me. People deafen me.
I feel like everybody is in a rush and I watch them walk too fast, and I’m just sitting watching that. I don’t know why I feel like that.

Streets of madness

These last days I was obliged to go to the city centre as I had to see the doctor for my backaches that are getting worse and I had to do some tests. The point is that it has been a whole adventure to walk over the city centre of our province as the children’s days is coming. Everybody seems to be irritated. You are calmly walking over there and you are pushed by the crowd. They are desperately looking for the right present for their children, and most of them are also looking for low prices but good quality. They queue (almost for hours!) to get their presents.
Something I could notice is that the majority of these parents take their children with them (perhaps to make them choose what they want), and I found myself with many little children crying or making a mess because they were not bought the presents they had previously chosen. I also saw lots of parents telling off their kids for their misbehaviour.
So my question is, why do they take their children with them?. They reproach their kids for their misbehaviour, but of course they will misbehave. They are kids! and they are surrounded by thousands of the best toys so their behaviour is understandable. Of course they are gonna cry, they want everything they see. How can you make a child understand that he or she can choose only one present?. They don’t understand anything related to inflation or low salaries. They just want their presents for their day. That’s all. So parents, please, next year don’t take your children to buy their presents!

My Grandfather

I’d like to introduce you one of the funniest person I’ve ever met: My grandfather.
He is very short and slim. His hair is white and his got wrinkles on his face. He is so tiny that you want to carry him on your pocket.
What’s really admirable is his sense of humour as he’s about to reach his eighty-fives and he loves making jokes and most of his time he’s smiling at everyone. Unfortunately, he’s ill, he’s got arteriosclerosis, and because of this disease he mixes his memories from the past and the present, and sometimes he tells stories about things that never happened and there are times in which he doesn’t recognize us.
Something else that really causes me pain is to see how much my father suffers (as we all do) because he sees that his father is getting older and he may be a bit angry sometimes. He lives with his wife, who told us several times that she can’t stand anymore, and she attempted to abandon him, which would be the end for him. My grandfather is so dependant. I think he wouldn’t be able to live without her. In his past and his present (and even in the events that he has in his mind, but never happened), she’s always present. I can’t imagine what could happen if she leaves him…
Anyway, I can say I thank God everyday of my life for having him. He’s quite older now, and I’m aware of the fact that nobody knows how long he will be with us. The only thing that I know is that I’ll enjoy every minute I spend with him.

Faith

I’m a Catholic person. I have faith in God and nobody or nothing is gonna take that away from me. Perhaps the only thing that I’m quite sure in my life is about my faith in God. I like going to church but I’m not a regular church-goer. The few times a year that I go to church I feel better after the ceremony (though I don’t really understand why I don’t go there regularly). One of the reasons could be the fact that when I’m saying the prayers, every time I mention the part “and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us”, I feel I’m lying to God and I’m lying to myself either.
I can forgive people because I know I also make mistakes and I’d like to be forgiven for that. We all deserve a second chance, but there are limits. There are things that can’t be forgiven. There are people who would not deserve to be forgiven. I can’t forgive and forget. People can hurt you a lot and it won’t be fair to make them the things easier. It’s not easy to forget…
Of course that I’m talking about people who have done too much damage to a person (because I don’t wanna be misunderstood), there a things that can be solved with a talk, and it’s not that easy. So I feel I’m not being honest with God, and another reason for not going frequently to church is that I feel he knows what I’m doing (well, of course he knows). He knows I’m lying to him. He knows I’m not gonna change that feeling and I feel guilty. Will he forgive me for that?... I don’t know… probably he will, and that makes me feel guiltier…

Exams

I’m just about to sit for an exam. Well, in fact, I have two subjects from second year waiting for me. I was quite disillusioned about myself for still having those subjects. I was supposed to get my degree this year and I was also supposed to be teaching training at the last year of my career, but here I am…
The anxiety is enormous. I can’t wait to be finally tested. Just God knows how much I hate to be tested. My routine changes every time I have an exam. I can’t sleep very well, I eat everything I find eatable and my hormones are crazy; my mood changes all the time and it’s not easy for me to deal with it. I’m afraid to fail. I don’t want to fail. Damn it… if I could avoid them. Some times I’m too confident and I tend to believe I’m invincible, and there are times in which I feel disappointed about myself and I think I will never achieve my aims. I feel like I’m walking on a rope and I’m afraid to fall. I’m always afraid of that…

The Past

Don’t you think it would be great to let behind all those bad things that happened to you in the past and just move on with your life?... I know it may sound stupid but I’ve always thought it would be wonderful to put your bad memories in a bag and then throw it away so they never come back. It would be fantastic… don’t you think?... But that’s not possible. They will always be present to let you know who you are. If you made mistakes, you will learn from them; if you suffered, you’ll become stronger and if you had great moments, you’ll remember them with a smile. Your past is part of your present and your future, and somehow you have to learn to live with it. No matter how much it hurts. The past will help you to remember you every day of your life the person you wanna be now…

Light days

I’m accustomed to staying awake till three or four am listening to music, reading something or chatting with friends and in the morning I get up early, avoiding going out from home as I detest the daylight. Don’t ask me why, I just know that it hurts my eyes and I find it annoying. So as you will see, I rather prefer nights…
Just a few days a month I feel willing to “face the daylight” and every time I do it, I really enjoy it. I sit in my garden with the sunshine on my face and I breathe deeply. Now that it’s winter I love this sensation. Listening the singing of the birds and feeling my nose cold as a consequence of the light breeze. Having all these feelings in those moments, I think about how I thank God for having everything I have; my family, my dear friends, my great classmates, my career, my lovely pets and my precious love. I just feel I’m in peace with myself. Perhaps I’m talking nonsense but this sensation comes from time to time so I had to write about it.

Negation

I don’t know why I am quite pessimist about almost everything in life. But don’t get me wrong, I just have negative attitudes only towards me. When I’m with friends or relatives I try to be as positive towards life as I could with them or about things related to them, but it happens to me that I can’t have another vision about my life. If something good happens, I know there will be something bad that will come then. When someone likes me, I know beforehand that it won’t worth. Perhaps it’s fear, but I feel like there always be something bad waiting for me which won`t allow me to enjoy a hundred percent of the good moments. There’s always a "but" for everything I do.
Hundreds of times I`ve tried to think about future and the good things that may come with it, but always the past appears in these thoughts and makes me do some steps backwards, trust me when I say that I do try to let out all the bad things that happened to me but somehow they come back. It is as if I walk one step to the front but then I go back others two. But it’s strange for the reason that these negative thoughts have nothing to do with my career. I try to improve all the time with a lot of effort and being responsible so in the future I can be a good teacher and my students learn something from me. This only has to do with my personal life, which has been quite complicated.

Just a dream?

I tend to be a little absent-minded sometimes. It’s difficult to remember names, faces, dates, etc that some people get mad with me because of it (though those who really know me know that I have short term memory)…However, apart from the fact that I’m a bit exaggerated with this, I have to say that there are things that happened to me but I can’t remember them.
According to my mum, when I was seven years old I almost die from pneumonia because of my baby-sitter’s lack of attention. Apparently, my nanny was not very good with me and she never looked after me. She warned me not to say anything and she made me believe that if I did it, I would be severally punished. My mum says that when I was very ill, I was talking nonsense because of the high fever and it was when I told her all the things that the nanny did to me. After that, my older sisters said the same. The thing is that I can’t remember those moments. Perhaps it’s because I was afraid but it worries me cause there’s another moment in my life (that it wasn’t one of the best) in which I have had dreams about it, or let’s just say that they are nightmares, things that would change my view towards life if they never happened. My memories and my dreams are mixed and I don’t know what the reality is. I don’t have anybody who can help me as at that moment I was alone. It’s awful to know that you don’t know but the worst of this situation is that I’m not really sure if I do wanna know what happened cause I’m not sure I’m ready to face it.

Be or not to be kind?

Oscar Wilde said once a little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. Do you think so?
At school and at home we are taught at early age that we have to be kind with people in general, but what do we do when someone dislike us?...Well, it would be great to tell and do exactly what you feel and think, no matter the consequences. But in this world things are not that simple. People reject to the idea of being realistic and face the truth. Is it that we are not still accustomed to honesty?...I don’t think so. Perhaps we are afraid of hurting people’s feelings, but how long will you be able to stand people who bother you?. In my case, I try to be as much patient as I can but in some cases I feel I’m being cynical. I try to avoid certain situations but God knows he’s testing my patience.
However, my point is that we do not have to be nice just because of the simple fact of being nice. You need a reason for that. But don`t get me wrong with this. I`m not saying you have to be rude with the person who bothers you, but to be honest with your feelings and not pretend everything is ok when it isn`t.

My Family (first part)

Living with my family is not one of the easiest things for me. Trust me when I say this. It requires of a lot of patience but in certain moments it can be quite difficult.
I live with my parents, three sisters and one brother.
What can I say about my father?. I love him so much that I hate the way he complains about everything. If there’s something out of its place, he makes a huge tragedy of it and he worries me as he has blood pressure’s problems and this could be bad for him. Besides that, he’s quite negative about almost everything, so imagine such a combination of grumble and negation!. On the other side it’s my mother. Let me tell you our mother-daughter relationship is quite special. We both have gone through difficulties in our relationship but we still love each other so maybe that’s why we can overcome our problems. The thing is that she has some attitudes that are difficult to deal with, and one of them is that she barely listens to you when you have something important to say. Besides, she has her favourite ones, so it’s even more complicated to have her attention even for a while. In many opportunities I’d have loved sharing with her important things that happened to me, but she cared about something else. Perhaps that’s our problem, that whenever we have the opportunity to establish a good relation, there’s always something else between us. However, I think she’s a great mum. I always had what I needed. She has worked really hard for it and I really thank her for that, but if she only knew the only thing I need is just a hug from her…
Changing the subject, I have a love-hate relationship with my brother. He’s seven years younger than me and he’s the typical kind of adolescent who’s surrounded by technology and can’t live without them and neither he lets us live in peace. He’s always asking for a new cellphone, new games for his new playstation 2 or new programmes for the computer; and now he wants a motorbike for his eighteenth birthday. It’s so tiring to deal with him!. The worst thing is that I hate spoilt kids like him and I can’t stand situations in which he’s completely claiming for stupid things. Things that won’t help him in the future. He’s so smart that I hate the way he spends so much time on these things instead of studying or doing something useful for him. Anyway, I’m also conscious that it’s not his fault at all. My parents are also partly responsibly. However, when he is not so childish, we spent great moments together.

My Family (second part)

My little sister is sixteen and she’s the kind of girl who is always doing something to make you smile. She’s so innocent and naïve at her age that sometimes it worries me she may be harmed. I’m worried about it because I see she suffers when someone gets mad with her or if she argues with someone. I’m afraid someday she misses her innocence or that she be influenced by her friends and stops behaving in the way she does. It is as I’d like to put her on a bubble and not let her go out. I know it sounds crazy but I just feel that I need to protect her from I don’t know what…
My older sister is older than me and she’s the kind of person whom I can always count with. I know whatever I need I can ask her. I know I can trust her and if I do something wrong she makes me see my mistakes. She is great giving advices but perhaps we have different points of view about life. She has lived surrounded by “the good things” and perhaps that’s why she’s so positive, and everything is ok, and she can see a wonderful future, etc., etc
And finally, my oldest sister is just exactly like Beth in Louisa May Alcott’s novel “Little women”. She is twenty-seven years old and she has no friends, no social life and she prefers staying at home doing the housework. She’s rather special. She seems to be quite fragile and I would say she lives in a bubble. She gets nervous if she has to talk to any stranger. Her voice starts to tremble and most of the times she tries to avoid these situations. She is so innocent and fragile, incapable to hurt anybody that she also worries me. I don’t know how to help her. In any moment she would have to face this world and it would be hard to get accustomed. It would be hard to deal with it. Besides, I’m worry about her future. What will she do when my parents don’t be with her? How would she manage by her own?. She’s so dependant from my parents that it also makes me feel angry about her attitudes.
Anyway, the thing is that sometimes I feel I am the big sister, the oldest one. Most of the times I take responsibilities that don’t concern me. Sometimes I had to act like the mother or father of my siblings; or like the sort of negotiator of my parents, and I realized I’m not enjoying my own life. I’ve been so busy trying to arrange these family’s issues that I never think about my own life. Perhaps it’s because I always thought if I didn’t do something, this family would have come down…

Child labour in Tucuman

Walking on the streets in our province it’s common to find children working. On the avenues, you can see them when the traffic lights are in red. Little children or teenagers cleaning the windscreens and they are paid a few coins for their jobs.
If you are constantly visiting bars and pubs, you will find kids going around those places very late at night selling candies, flowers or just leaving cards on your table for you to cooperate while their parents are waiting for them near these places to control the earnings their children provide to them. Some of these children are carrying their little baby siblings and with this picture you feel blame of giving or not some money to them. One the one hand, you know that if you go on giving them money, you’re encouraging their parents to go on making their children work, when it is their responsibility to do it. But on the other hand, if you refuse to give them money, you know these kids may be severally punished for it. And it is something difficult to realize, but I think I can’t find a proper solution. It really makes me angry to see so many children working on thee streets when they should be studying at schools or playing at home. Enjoying their childhood, not working. They are being exposed to several dangerous situations at night, and nobody is doing anything for them. Politics do not pay attention to this situation. They are too busy preparing their political campaigns for the coming elections so child labour is an issue which would be still on agenda until the state be finally conscious of the damages that they are causing to these children’s lives. I hope it won’t be late.

Competition

I wonder why is it that you are at some point in your career that you start noticing that there are some people who are extremely competitive and the most interesting part is that they won’t be happy with their achievements and improvements but with your failures.
Some people could say it is competition. Well, I think these attitudes like arrogance, individualism, envy and jealousy are the typical qualities for that kind of people. They’re not just interested in having great notes, they seem to want you to be stuck in the career, so the rest of people applause them and congratulate them. It would be like the more I’m doing better, the more I want you to get worse. They seem to be constantly looking for approval and if they would have the opportunity of making you disappear, they will do it. But don’t get me wrong with what I’m saying. I’m not like them. I don’t envy them. If they are going well, it’s fine and if they’re not going so well…what can I say?...it’s not the end of the world and I’m pretty sure they will do it better next time.
The thing is that this kind of attitudes makes me feel pity for some of them because I think their lives may be too empty and meaningless if they give too much importance to the things I mentioned before. There must be something missing in their lives to be so shallow…don’t you think?

Tattoos

Last week in our English Language class, there was one of my classmates who presented a topic about “Celebrities Worshipping” and one of the things she mentioned was about a person who had a tattoo of his celebrity and this led to a heated debate among some of my classmates. Some of them mentioned religion and the fact of accepting your body as God create you; some others talked about social stereotypes that had people and made them judge those ones who had a tattoo.
The thing is that I wasn’t in the class before that moment. I had too much things on my head, I was thinking about something else nothing related to the class, but when I heard what the discussion was about, I felt I had some many things to say but I felt unable to speak as I wasn’t paying attention before. Anyway…for the things I heard, I wonder, do tattoos are still being part of social stereotypes?, will they always be?... I hope not. I n my opinion, I could say it’s just a matter of choice. It has nothing to do with religion or social problems. I think it’s stupid to say that because you have one, you probably have mental problems. Can’t we think it is only because you want your body look different?. Maybe it’s because you want a nice draw on your body for the rest of your life and that’s all, or perhaps it’s that you want to show art on your body, which I think it`s an excellent reason.
I have to say I don’t wear any tattoos. The only idea of having something for the rest of my life makes it impossible, but I think they’re nice and I respect people who have them. I think this kind of prejudices should finally come to an end. As human beings, we have the freedom to choose and I thank God for that.

Facing the reality

For several years she had suffered. Of course she had been in love once, but her love became hatred when another woman appeared in the life of her loving man and he broke her heart. When this happened, she felt her world was coming down but never showed anything. She wanted to seem strong in front of her family and friends as she hated the idea of people feeling pity for that situation, but she cried alone at night and she regretted of having spent too much time of her life on a relation that was a completely lie. She suspected her boyfriend had something but she pretended everything was fine as she didn’t want to face the truth.
She felt she could not manage her feelings. She was too sad and depressed and she wanted to disappear from the earth or losing her identity. As she was quite depressed, her best friend suggested her going abroad for a while and she accepted. She travelled to different places and met interesting people.
After two years going from one place to the other, she came back home to move on with her life and to start doing something different. She felt she had changed and even everything seemed to have changed. Her family and friends missed her a lot but they respected her decision of going alone by her own. They knew there was little they could do about it and supporting her on her decisions was the best they could do for her.
One day, coming back home from her new job, she met her ex-boyfriend carrying his baby and right besides him, his wife…
They seemed to be the perfect family he always wished to have but for some reason she never wanted to talk about whenever it was possible. In that exactly moment she remembered the times when he talked about the babies they were going to have or the big house they were going to buy when they get married, but she never said anything about it, she avoid any conversation about future plans as she knew she would never be able to have a family because she was going to die.
It has always been very difficult for her to tell her boyfriend the truth but she couldn’t find the right moment to do it. She thought if she told him she was going to die he would leave her…but he leave her anyway without knowing anything about it…
She came to them and he was pale when he noticed her, He couldn’t believe his eyes; he thought she was more beautiful than she was before meanwhile she felt stronger now that she learnt he moved on with his life…If he did it, why not her?...suffering long time, for what?, for who?. Now she realized it was time to get it over, and one way of starting would be facing that situation. So she came to them with a big smile and said hi to both parents and kissed the baby. He seemed to be rather confused as he thought she wouldn’t have the courage to do it and besides that, she was too confident of what she was doing and she was not like that. She had changed and you could notice in her eyes. She was now completely sure of what she wanted to do. She wanted to enjoy each day of her life as if it were the last.

Sunday Afternoons

I think the most deppressing day is Sunday. Especially in the afternoons. You always have nothing to do but to sleep or to eat (well,at least in my case). Maybe you wonder how about watching television or listening to music...but what the hell!...Nothing, but absolutely nothing is more boring than a Sunday afternoon at home. If I decide to watch a movie on the dvd, I never see the end of it as I always fall asleep in the middle of the story and when I wake up and I realize that I lost half of the movie, I get angry and I never watch the end of the movie...
If I want to listen to music for a while it happens the same. But this happens for obvious reasons as most of the radio stations are depressing with their "retro" music. Don`t get me wrong when I say this because I love songs from that time, but the whole afternoon?...and night?. C`mon...there must be something interesting to do...

Rock bands

I love music in general, but I am a very fond of rock & roll music. International and national rock and I even like rock bands from Tucuman. Every band is special in some way; some are simply great, making wonderful music which is always a pleasure to hear something from them. Some others, apart from create excellent music for us, have characteristics that make you follow them. They are charismatic and humble and just want their music to be heard. And with this, I would like to make reference to a rock band from this province which I have seen the effort they have done to be recognized and all the difficulties they are overcoming in order to release their first album.
I met this band because of my friend, whose brother is the guitarist of the group, and when I heard their music and I paid attention to the content of their songs, which each of them has a story behind, I pretty much liked.
I try to go to every concert they do as I enjoy them. It is also noticeable how they are supported. They aren’t from our city, but they’re from Florida, and let me tell you how exciting and emotive is to see the amount of people who come from their town to support them. It is also quite significant to see the effort they do before every concert with relatives and friends helping them in whatever is possible. The thing is that the band has been together for almost ten years (they have been friends since they were children), and something they could not achieve was the recording of their first album, as doing this costs a lot of money.
Of course I think it is rather unfair this situation as every time I see them on their rehearsal or performing on their stage, it is noticeable their improvements. But partly, I think it is government’s fault as since they set a limit to the closure of discos at 4 a.m. Because of this damned law came out, they have no place to play and this happens not only with this band but with other bands that are having the same problems.
Unfortunately, Mr Alperovich thought that censorship in our province was the best solution in order to do something for the horrible murders and vanishings of people. He’d never admit it’s convenient for him the local bands do not have the possibility to express themselves. They always say what they think and what they see. They’re conscious of the current situation in our province, and they would not keep their mouths shut which is great, but it’s a shame that the provincial government be worrier for what a rock band may say about them rather than be worried for the citizens’ sake.

My Beloved Teacher

Today sadness invades my heart. I`m so hollow that I can`t describe what I`m feeling in this exactly moment. I feel a deep hole in my soul and I have something in my throat that I feel it hurts to breathe. I can feel the emptiness.Today I lost the best teacher I`ve ever had. She was more than a teacher, she was like a friend,like an inspiration. A whole eminence. Such a beautiful person. Full of energy and always encouraging us to follow our dreams no matter how difficult the things seem to be.
I met her in the summer of the last year. I was going to seat for an exam and she helped me a lot with it. Besides that, I shared wonderful moments with her. She was always telling us about attractive places she went or interesting stories in which she was involved. I would never forget when she told me the time she was in France in the events of May 68 and all the dangerous and at the same time funny moments she had gone through.
I also remember when she told me the time she met Randolph Quirk in a conference and how angry she left the room because she said Mr Quirk overestimated the teachers of our country (and besides that, he was bored). And another anecdote was when she told the time she was in the Globe Theatre and at the end of the play she was completely soaked as it was raining.
She had so many anecdotes to tell her students and personally, I enjoyed listening to her. She made her stories so interesting that I never wanted to stop listening.
But now she`s not here with us. She left us. Now finally she will be resting. Since she retired she had had students at home and she never seemed to be tired of them and she refused if any of us wanted to pay for her classes. She used to say she hated loneliness and she loved having her house full of students. She loved young people. Young people who wanted to learn more of the English Language but who also had the pleasure of learning more about her.
I shared beautiful moments with her and I feel really sad because I couldn`t say good bye. The last time I saw her was two months ago, when some of my classmates and I invited her to have lunch to thank her for helping us in an exam. I just know I would keep those moments in my mind and she will always be present in my heart.
I always admired the talent she had to teach and to make us understand some things that were so difficult for us. She motivated us all the time and never overestimated us. She supported our ideas (criticized them if it was necessary) and encouraged us to follow our dreams and not to give up.
She had travelled around the world and she knew about everything. Such an interesting person to know...and so humble and simple at the same time. She seemed to want to transmit her knowledge to us...
I would love to have known her before, anyway I`m happy to have met her because it was an honor for me. I hope when I become a teacher and finally graduate, to have just a little bit of what she had. She was a wonderful teacher and a beautiful person and I`m pretty sure she will be in the heart of every student who had the pleasure to have known her as she is the kind of teacher who will always be remembered with a smile and admiration.

Future teachers???

Last Tuesday I felt indignant with some of my classmates.
I’m taking sociolinguistics at 2nd year and that day we were supposed to present a research project about “Borrowings” in our language i.e. loan English words that have been incorporated in our mother tongue. The thing is that when the teacher asked about the project, one of my classmates who were in my group asked me the folder with the work and at that exactly moment I had a strange feeling that something bad was happening.
I told her I had left it on her desk the day before but she said she found nothing over there. I sent a text message to the other girl who was in my group but she didn’t have it either.
I wanted to believe they were playing a joke on me, but no. I asked our preceptor Gabriel if someone had left something at their office, but there was nothing there. I asked him because if you found something it’s not yours, you’re supposed to give it back to the person who owns or at least to give it to one of our preceptors. Well, I also asked each one of my classmates if they had seen a folder on my desk the day before but no one had seen anything. Then I had to go toward my teacher to explain the situation and she was as surprised as I was.
To be honest, the first thing that came to my mind was that I had lost the folder with the project (as I tend to be a little bit absent-minded sometimes), but I was pretty sure of what I did with it besides, it can’t disappear something from your desk (especially when there was another class following this one). Someone had to see it. Someone found or stole my work. And I know it’s wrong to judge beforehand, but as I said before, if you found something it’s not yours, you give it back to its owner. This is what it is taught at school and home, isn’t it?. And this kind of attitude makes me wonder what kind of teachers are going to be in charge of our children in the future. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that everybody behave in the same way, I’m just making reference to those ones who feel so desperate that try to ruin their own partners just to cover their asses.
I tried to look for all the justifications for this, and to calm down myself as I am quite angry about it, but I couldn’t find any one. I just know that I hope this person (or these people) try to realize that they are going to be teacher, and what kind of people would like to be, the kind of people who do their work with effort and responsibility despite of the little time they may have to do it, or those ones who will try to do whatever is possible to get what they want no matter if they ruin other people. C’mon guys, you’re gonna be future teachers, don’t you?. And please, do me a favour, just think about it. At least THINK of it.

This is one of the most beautiful songs I`ve ever heard...enjoy it!

Gut feelings

Has it ever happened to you to meet someone for the first time and at that exactly moment you feel you already know what the person is like?...well, this happens to me frequently and unfortunately, I was wrong in a few times. And I say unfortunately because when I have this sort of gut feeling I am predisposed to behave in a certain way with that person and not being just me. I am nobody to judge anyone or to say what is right or wrong, but I can`t help this sensation. I feel like I already know what is going to happen and I prefer avoiding some situations and let the things how they are.
I consider myself a good person but I know I have lot of defects which in some cases I try to correct them.
A few times I met people who I considered my friends, but then these people disappointed me by being cynical and dishonest. I`ve always been a direct person and whatever comes to my mind at a certain moment I say it without thinking, and perhaps that is why I seem to be unkind. But I prefer doing this rather than talking about people behind their backs. However, I think it is good giving opportunities and not being so defensive because I am not perfect and I know I make mistakes all the time and I`m sure I would like to have another chance if I do something wrong.

Coward

Several times I wished to disappear from earth but I don’t know why this is happening to me with frequency lately. If I have to be honest, I have to say I am not as brave as I thought (well…at least in some cases). The thing is that I got angry with myself because I don’t know how to fight with this feeling. I think I have gone through so many situations that were very difficult for me to face, but the things that I consider difficult to face are the easiest for any human being, and it is to socialise.
Since I was a child I used to do the things by my own and if I had to play alone, I did it. When I was at high school, I was in three different private schools which made me the things difficult; I felt I could not establish a very strong relationship among my classmates. Even once, I spent five months without talking to any of my partners.
At university the situation got worse. Although meeting the typical competitive students who barely spoke to you or who rejected to lend you their notes if you missed one class, I met friendly people who helped you in everything. But my point is that I did not know how to go on in the conversations we had.
Here, at the institute, the things got better. I met people who I consider now as great friends but I noticed I still have that feeling of running away and hide under a rock when things do not result as I want, what I think it is frequent to happen, but what I don’t think it is frequent is to be so coward about so common situations. And this worries me because in an upcoming future I will have to make good relationships with my future colleagues and I do not know how to overcome this.

Learning to teach

Last year I had my first experience in front of a real class. I had the opportunity to do the teaching trainings in ninth and eighth year with my classmate and friend, Monica. The first group was a big one and the second was a smaller one but with a higher level of the foreign language.
The thing is that we started with the students of ninth year. It was a class of twenty-three girls and eighteen boys and they seemed not to be very interested in learning the language. We observed the class during almost two months and then we began the practices. The English class began at half past seven and it was not easy for us to catch their attention at that time as they were still asleep and it was also difficult for us to encourage them to get involved with the language. Besides, they misbehaved and we had to do a great effort to deal with all these difficulties but fortunately, we had a great teacher who helped us to carry out with them.
The second group was completely different. Personally, I have to say that it was a pleasure working with them. They were twenty-one students who seemed to love English and they were willing to participate in all our classes (which is the dream of every teacher of English) and although the level they were working with required a lot of effort from us, I felt incredible comfortable with them. When I was in front of the class I felt as if it would be my own, and my classmate and I had the opportunity to choose how to work with them.
We share extraordinary moments with these groups and although the difficulties we had at the beginning, all this helped me to realize that I have the ability (though I still have several things to learn) to teach. Because perhaps you sometimes doubt about your choice and this experience helped me a lot to appreciate this career. Every time I was giving my class in front of the students and teachers I never felt judged about what I was doing. Of course I made a lot of mistakes being there, but our teacher facilitated our job and exploded our minds to prepare creative tasks for the students. Now that I believe I have the capacity to teach, I decided to improve in what I do everyday and try to do my best.

Oral Presentation

I would like to give my opinion about the topic I prepared for my oral presentation. The topic I talked about was The Argentinean’s war veterans. From the very beginning I knew it was going to be a very hard issue since all the difficulties and miseries the veterans have gone through and also the indifference they have been treated with during these years. But I could never imagine that apart from being ignored by the state, they have been ignored by the media, and I say this because when I was searching for information for the oral presentation, it was difficult for me to find recent news about them.
One of the issues I focus on was the massive suicides that have happened among them since the Malvinas war ended and there was not many websites dedicated to them or even to the current situation of the veterans. What I do found was an article in La Nacion online, in which the most significant information was the fact that our president was not present in the act of the 25th anniversary of the Malvinas war and there was only one paragraph mentioning the suicide of the veteran number four hundred since the war ended. And my point is not to dedicate a whole article to this worrying situation, but the media support them as they have not been supported by the state.
While I was looking for information for the presentation, I read an interview made to one of the soldiers which made me realize of how frustrated they feel about this war. This soldier says many of them feel disappointed for not being recognized and besides that, they are susceptible. He told that for the 24th anniversary of this war there was going to be an act in the most important square in Rosario in honour of the death soldiers, and one of his partners committed suicide when he learnt about this because he thought they were going to reunite to come back to war. The thing is that he was asked what we could do to help them, and he answered that with only keep them in our minds was enough.

In 1995 I moved to a new neighbourhood and I made new friends there. One of the beutiful people I met there were Matias and Emiliano Torres. Matias was two years younger than me and Emiliano was the same age as me and they were brothers.
Their father owned a disco in Lules so he had to travel every weekend to this place. Once, their father was called by one of his partners because there was a problem at the disco and his presence was necessary there. Matias wanted to go with him but his dad told him to stay at home because the roads could be dangerous at that moment (it was midnight) and he also told Matias to stay to take care of his mum.
Two hours later, the family received a phone call from a police station telling them Mr Torres had a car accident and he was hospitalized. When they arrived to the hospital, the man had already died.
This situation was completely sad for both of them. They both felt a part of them had gone with their father and as the time went by, they could feel the absence of their father.
With the passing of time, Emiliano started to feel better. He loved his father with all his soul and he said he knew his dad would be very sad if they didn´t move on with their life. However, Matias remembered him all the time and he always said he would have loved being together with his father because he was too weak to face this world without him and he knew Emiliano would take care of his mum if something happened to him.
In 2001, Matias was seriously ill. He had hepatitis, and after several times he had been gospitalized, he died on the same year. The death of Matias almost drove Emiliano to insanity. He couldn´t accept the fact of having lost his father and his brother and he went to supportive psycotherapy for a couple of years and he is better now. He understood his brother is better and surely he is where he always wanted to be since his father had gone, and that is just together with him.

Untitled 2

Life is unfair. Some people get the best and thet live happily in a beautiful world without suffering and their only problems are related to superficial facts...and some of us have to learn to live with our harships without knowing how to deal with them and without sharing them with the people who care about us. Even knowing that they could help us, it is too much suffering that we do not want to make the things more complicated than they are. When is it that we will be able to learn to trust?, but I´m not sure if it is a matter of trusting or what. Most of the time you feel terrible when you can´t tell how you feel in certain moments because you perfectly know that frienship is all about trusting, but you can´t help it... But it is not that you don´t trust...perhaps it is just that you feel ashame for things that happened in the past and you don´t want to bring them to your mind again...

Untitled

Sometimes I wonder why it is that we don´t talk about our feelings or it is so difficult for us to express them...Why is it that we can´t share our deepest thoughts?...and for this, you will find several reasons. One of the most important is that you may feel embarrased about some situations that happened to you in the past and it is difficult to share them with the people who care about you...it is a strange feeling that you have just to think of the fact of telling them about those situations. Besides, you may think it would be better if you don´t talk about those things because they can come to the present and they will hurt you again just as they did it in the past...Perhaps you believe that if you don´t mention those situations,they will disappear with the passing of time. But that would be a stupid lie. They won´t go anywhere...the more you want them out of your mind, the more they will be present everyday of your life hurting you like a thorn in your heart but reminding you who you are and who you can be and this feeling will always be present there, in your mind and your soul.

Freedom

One of the most important moments in my life was when I taste freedom for the first time. At the age of 18, I decided to travel to Buenos Aires by my own to see one of my favourite bands in those times. Although the concert was great, the fact of being in a place I didn´t know was a complete challenge for me and I really enjoyed it!!!, for the first time I was doing what I wanted without being controlled or restricted by anyone... When I needed to know about how to get to different places, I asked several people the same question so I made sure they were not giving me the wrong information and in that way I managed to travel from one place to the other. I felt a little bit worried about what could happen to me there, but I think it was a wonderful experience and I hope to have the opportunity to do it again.

I have to say that I can´t stand people who think they are better than the rest and are talking all the time about themselves or about how great they think they are. Unfortunately, during my attendances to the faculty´s classes and during these four years at Lola Mora´s institute, I´ve met lot of them. At the beginning I didn´t care what they did because I thought it is much better if you don´t think about it. At the faculty it was better to deal with this situation because I didn´t share too much time with those people, but here at the the institute it was worse.
I have to say that I met some people that are incredible great and that I consider my friends and there are some people who arewonderful classmates and I really know I can count on them if I need something. I do have good relationships with most of my classmates, but it´s just that the arrogance of some of them is what makes me angry. I think you just have to let them be, but the way they treat another people irritates me...I could observate in many situations the way the people who think are the best one treat those ones who are dependant, weak or whatever you want to call them or maybe because they are still looking for acceptance, they don´t know how to defend when they are treated unfairly.
I know that it is not going to be the last time I have to deal with a situation like this because that´s life and I know I must accept it or to be indiferent towards certain things that I don´t like.