Frustration

Tonight I feel disillusioned with myself. I feel like I’m mad with myself. I’m angry. I feel weak. I was supposed to pass that exam (that was my purpose of taking the subject again). Not to fail. I don’t know what happens with me or what is wrong with me. I don’t know if I don’t pay enough attention, don’t follow the instructions and do what I want or what. I feel like I’m not making any improvement at all. I don’t know if I’m so mediocre that I keep myself with the things I learnt and I don’t wanna learn more or I’m so blocked with the latest events that have happened in my life that I’m being quite negative and that negation doesn’t allow me to see the progress. I just don’t know… the only thing that I know is that the constant feeling of being in the same place without move hasn’t gone yet, but don’t get me wrong with this. I know that there are worst things in life. I’m a realistic person and I know there are more important things in life. I know people who are fighting every day for their lives. I’m not going to make such a tragedy of this. My life is not so shallow or so meaningless to make of this a big deal. It’s just that I haven’t slept well these last days and pessimism reign in my world for the moment.